Lost in translation

A psychologist’s perspective on control, connection, and the discomfort of not understanding

There is something deeply unsettling about not understanding the language around you.

Not just inconvenient…..unsettling.

Since arriving in France, I have found myself in countless situations where I understand some of what is being said…enough to almost follow what’s happening, but not enough to feel secure in it. And that ‘almost’ is where the psychological discomfort sits.

Because language is not just about communication.

It is about control, identity, connection and safety.

The psychology of learning a language

There is a significant cognitive load involved in learning a language. You are essentially asking your brain to:

·      Map out new sounds to meaning

·      Override automatic responses in your native language

·      Hold and manipulate unfamiliar words and structures in working memory

What is often overlooked is the emotional experience of language learning.

And to be clear, I’m not talking about sitting on the sofa doing Duolingo for ten minutes a day. That’s a very different experience.

I’m talking about learning in situ – where you have no choice but to communicate, whether you’re ready or not.

In this situation, when you’re trying to speak a new language you are:

·      Slower

·      Less articulate

·      Less witty

·      Less yourself

This can create a subtle but powerful psychological shift. You almost certainly will feel self conscious and hesitant to engage.

The psychological impact of not knowing the language

When you don’t understand what’s being said around you, several things can happen:

1.        A sense of loss of control – you can’t predict what might happen next. You can’t advocate well for yourself (think me with my Aussie licence – I knew the dealer was wrong but it was hard to articulate that)

2.        Increased cognitive load – your brain is working overtime to decode meaning, read context and fill in gaps (think me on the phone, understanding one word in three)

3.        Social disconnection – language is one of the primary ways we connect with others. Without it you can feel excluded and/or isolated, like an observer rather than a participant

4.        Heightened vigilance – When you don’t fully understand your environment, you tend to become more alert. You scan for cues. You look for signals of safety or risk. This is an adaptive response and you might not even realise you’re doing it – but it can be draining over time.

Language is more than words

One of the most fascinating things about being in a foreign language environment is how quickly you realise that language is not just spoken. We rely heavily on facial expressions, body language and tone of voice.

A raised eyebrow or a shrug  (I’ve seen a few of those!) can often carry as much meaning as words.

In fact, when verbal language is unclear, we lean more heavily on these non-verbal cues. Psychologically, this is your brain trying to reconstruct meaning from context.

And sometimes this works really well. You can ‘understand’ a situation without understanding a single sentence.

But sometimes it doesn’t.

The importance of context

Language does not exist in isolation – it sits within cultural and situational context.

The same words, tone or behaviour can mean very different things depending on the culture, the setting or the relationship between the people involved.

When you don’t know the language, you also often don’t fully understand the contextual rules.

This is where misunderstandings can happen, not just linguistically, but socially.

From a psychological perspective, this uncertainty can trigger:

·      Self doubt (Did I get that wrong?)

·      Anxiety (Have I offended someone?)

·      Over compensation (I’ll just say nothing)

Beyond spoken language – not knowing the ‘language’ in life

On reflection, what is interesting is that this experience extends beyond learning French (or any spoken language)

There are many situations in life where we ‘don’t know the language’

·      Entering a new workplace or industry

·      Navigating healthcare or legal systems

·      Becoming a parent

·      Moving into a different social or cultural group

·      Moving to a water access only Island?!?

In each of these situations there is a kind of implicit language: jargon, norms, expectations, unspoken rules.

And when you don’t know or understand that language, the experience is quite similar – you can feel uncertain, you might hesitate to speak, you worry about getting it wrong and you rely heavily on observation and inference.

It’s about having the mental frameworks (or schemas) that make the environment more predictable.

A final thought

Learning a language – or being in any situation where you don’t ‘speak the language’ is humbling. It strips away fluency and confidence.

But is also does something else:

It builds tolerance for ambiguity, empathy for others in the same position and awareness of how much communication goes beyond words.

And perhaps most importantly, it reminds us that understanding is not just about what is said, but also about how, where and by whom it is said which feels like a valuable life lesson. Although, it is perhaps not ideally timed for me, now that I am officially PACS’d and have a lingering suspicion that I may have missed a key detail somewhere along the way…..